There are a few certain things in life: Death and taxes, as they say, but two other certainties are loss and transition. They are different, but related. In an academic counseling book on Grief (New Techniques of Grief Therapy, Robert A. Neimeyer) the author wrote, “Life is a series of losses and transitions”. It might sound a little dark, but like it or not, it isreality. What shapes our experiences, however, is how we respond to those losses and transitions. All things come to an end. Childhood ends, school ends, and no matter what level of sports you compete at, your competition days will come to an end, as well. This lesson snuck up on me when I least expected it.

I had just earned my 1^st degree blackbelt in the fall prior to moving to Denver, Colorado for my husband’s job. I had deep sadness about leaving my home in New Jersey and my Tae Kwon Do school and community. I was just beginning to embrace sparring and competitions, requirements of all blackbelt candidates and had enjoyed some relative success.

T.E.A.M. Together Everyone Achieves More… I’m not sure, but I no longer think TEAM means the same thing. Individualism, “look at me”, “it’s all about me”, “get mine”, seems to be the emphasis in the performance arena even where “team” sports are concerned. I’m all for celebrating the uniqueness of individuals and embracing distinctive talents and abilities. The truth is, however, there is nothing in life that we accomplish 100% autonomously, without some participation from others. So, whether you’re a team sport athlete or a single competitor like a golfer or diver, you still have others on your “team”- other athletes, coaches, trainers, parents, significant others, etc. It seems the value and appreciation for the contribution of others is diminishing.

There are solid arguments for compensating college student-athletes when billions of dollars in revenue are being collected on merchandise alone. Public opinion has shifted somewhat over the years in light of this fact, where most are supportive of athletes receiving compensation beyond their scholarship. Today, athletes are receiving multimillion dollar NIL (Name, Image and Likeness) deals before ever setting foot in the competitive arena. That intuitively seems problematic. As someone in mental strength  coaching and mental health, I was flooded with questions that I assumed were well-thought-out and vetted…

In my conversation with Mark Griffin, from “Purpose Fused”, he asked a question about purpose which led to a brief touch on obsession. I thought I'd expand on that idea a bit here an invite others' thoughts on the topic.

When I think of purpose, I think of an inherent calling or pull toward something, and actions taken that are intentional and directed. In my life, obsession has often been associated with unhealthy behaviors or times when I've been particularly out of balance. My obsessions were often a focal point of some sort that filled a void or gap for me that could be taken too far. However, to label an "obsession" as simply something negative, is to oversimplify. For me, for example, running became an "unhealthy" obsession for a while. I was obsessed with my daily and weekly mileage, with what I ate based on what I would burn in a particular workout, constantly implementing a more, harder, faster is better approach toward racing…